hair cells of a guinea pig's cochlea

What I said when someone asked me what I was reading about. (Really.) And seriously, why would you walk up to a complete stranger with their nose stuck in a fat textbook, minding their own business, and ask?  And you at the laundromat - I'm sure I was perfectly polite (which in retrospect may have been a mistake) and completely clear when I said I was trying to study for a midterm exam the following day - so why are you still standing there talking at me about how your family comes over here every year and how much the town has changed?  I don't know you from Gustav Fechner, and quite frankly, I don't give a tiny rat's butt.  (Or even  a guinea pig's butt.) If you'd like to discuss the Gestalt theories of perception - great.  Otherwise, please go away.

Most days I do my schoolwork at home, on the couch in my living room or in good weather, out on my balcony.  But occasionally I grab a book or something and take it with me when I'm going somewhere and think I'll end up with time to kill.  Honestly, I'd much rather be knitting but if I haven't put in that day's allotment of school time, I'm going to feel guilty!  Plus, I've still got so much left to complete, it feels a bit daunting sometimes.  Moving those progress bars across keeps my spirits up and my sanity intact. (And if anyone figures out a way for me to get university credit for knitting - contact me ASAP).

So this takes me and my various subjects of study out into the world where random strangers can be blessed with valuable tidbits of information concerning Vygotsky's theory of learning, how to conjugate "tener", whether David really did snub the papacy or it was all Napoleon's doing, how to find the standard deviation and the variance, and of course, the aforementioned hair cells (of a guinea pig's cochlea).  Mind you, I only share these special nuggets with those brave (or foolish) enough to enquire.  Having been so blessed, these worthy souls depart my presence swiftly, surely with the desire to share their newly acquired knowledge with the world.  That must be it, right?