Friday, October 12, 2007

Learning to be comfortable with uncertainty

It's funny (and I by that I mean funny strange, not funny ha-ha) I spent so many years working at least one full-time job, and sometimes a part-time job (or two) also. For the longest time that regular income and stability was very important to me. I knew people that worked on a freelance basis, or short term contracts, and I thought they were nuts - or maybe just wired differently. Here I am now, living out this year of unemployment with absolutely no idea what I'll be doing by this time next year. And I'm really quite okay with that. Fair amount of personal growth in that - you could even say I've become "comfortable with the uncertainty".

Last week I cast on another hat, using Brown Sheep's Lamb's Pride worsted weight in "Lemon Drop". I haven't used that yarn in a long time and I'd forgotten how nice it is to knit with, I love the way it feels so I'm sure I'll be using it more often in the future. Instead of using someone else's pattern for this hat, I'm trying to work up my own, using what I've learned from the last few hats I've made. The end goal is to come up with my perfect hat pattern for my pointy little head and then knit one in every colorway of Lamb's Pride I guess! I want very badly to work on it, my fingers are just itching for it. But I'm finding it difficult to move forward. I'm at the point of needing to decrease for the crown, and for the first time instead of using a pattern, I have to make it up as I go along, judge the results, and then possibly rip back and do it over again differently. And it's not that I mind the "do over", did I mention I love knitting with this yarn? It's that I have to move forward with no idea how the end result may look.

I guess I still have more work to do on this area - personal growth continues. Stay tuned for updates.

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